Nightmares In Children – How To Help

Children don’t sleep well and wake up at night for various reasons. Some children will have difficulty falling asleep or will delay going to bed because of bedtime fears and worries. Nightmares and night terrors are common problems in children. If you’re wondering how to help your child with nightmares, today’s article is for you! We’re going to discuss the difference between nightmares and night terrors, the age these problems typically start, common triggers, and finally, strategies to help your child with nightmares. 

One important note: if your child’s anxiety (at bedtime or during the day) is interfering with his or her age and developmentally appropriate activities, I recommend you speak with a pediatrician or a mental health professional. 

What’s The Difference Between Nightmares And Night Terrors?

Nightmares are scary dreams that wake your child up and may make them afraid to return to sleep. During a night terror your child may suddenly wake up terrified, cry uncontrollably, sweat, shake, look confused, and may not recognize you. Characteristically your child will have no recollection of what happened the next morning.  During a night terror, your child may appear fully awake, but they are actually partially awake and still in NREM sleep. Night terrors typically occur during the first half of the night; whereas, nightmares are more likely to occur in the last third of the night. 

What Age Do Nightmares and Night Terrors Start And Stop?

Up to 75% of children will have occasional nightmares. Children as young as 6 months may start having nightmares. They typically begin around age 3 and may last up until age 12. Little ones have huge imaginations which can lead to nightmares. Night terrors typically happen ages 2-5 and will resolve on their own with time. 

Common Triggers Of Nightmares

No one knows exactly what causes nightmares, but there’s some common triggers that we know of. The most common trigger is your child seeing or hearing something that upsets him or her. This can be something that has actually happened or can be make believe. Children have very creative imaginations, and as part of typical development, have a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. Nightmares are often related to the different developmental stages of children. For example, in younger children the development of their imagination can lead to fears about monsters. In school-age children, fears and anxiety around school, peers, and current events (natural disasters, shootings) are often a trigger for nightmares.

Tips To Help Your Child With Nightmares

As with all sleep struggles, the most important first step is to have a consistent bedtime and bedtime routine. A consistent and predictable bedtime routine helps your child feel safe and sets the foundation for avoiding bedtime battles. 

Now, we’ll take a closer look at some other tips to help your child when he or she has nightmares.

1. Do not watch scary or intense movies and TV shows. If your child is especially sensitive, I recommend stopping all screen time at least 2 hours before bed. Instead, try relaxing activities like puzzles, playing quietly, and reading.  
2. Provide a security blanket or toy for comfort for children over age 2. 
3. Label what has happened. When your child comes to you after a nightmare, let your child know he had a nightmare and that it’s over now. Then, reassure him that what happened in his nightmare is not real and he is safe. 
4. Teach your child positive self-statements. Examples include: “I am brave.” “I am a big boy/girl.” “My room is a safe place.” Rehearse these statements during the day, at bedtime, and in the middle of the night if he wakes up after a nightmare. 
5. If your child wakes you up after a nightmare, tell your child she is safe and help her visualize something pleasant. Express confidence by bringing her back to her room. 
6. Do not reinforce the fear. As a parent you naturally want to comfort your child when he or she is afraid. This unintentionally results in you reinforcing your child’s fear by providing extra attention at bedtime or in the middle of the night. Instead, I recommend you acknowledge the fear and show him that he is safe by bringing him back to his room. 
7. Do not enable your child’s anxiety about being alone. Parents will say their child is scared to sleep alone. They subsequently allow their child to sleep in their room or spend time in the middle of night in their child’s bed to get her back to sleep. Your child knows expressing fear of being alone is a way to bring you closer and get your attention. The best way to fix this is instill confidence and help your child face her fears. 
8. Do not search for monsters. If you search under your child’s bed or in the closet for monsters, you’re validating your child’s fear that there could be something there. Don’t reinforce their fears. Instead, show and tell him he’s safe with confidence.

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Certainly nightmares are tricky to manage for parents and children alike. If you’re struggling, I invite you to reach out to me as I’d love to help you and your family.

References

HealthyChildren.Org: Nightmares, Night Terrors & Sleepwalking in Children

John Hopkins Medicine: Nightmares and Night Terrors

Pediatric Sleep Problems: A Clinician’s Guide to Behavioral Interventions